Moonlight Melody and Madness

I posted once, then I dissapeared. Now I post again.

Where was I? My one night of clarity was followed by a long period of being lost. I had no idea where I wanted to be. I had feelings that night that I enjoyed and was slapped by the harsh reality that I'm not happy with my life where it is right now.

I feel that clarity returning to me again... My mind has begun working, and I've started with what once was my passion, programming.

I gave it up for a long while, my skills evaporated, but picking it up again I find them quickly returning.

I know it's what I'm meant to do. The means to that end are still unclear to me. This time I won't give up.

This time I also won't give up writing here. I know that all of the things I think are not best left unsaid. I'll try and see where I end up.

I approach this without the huge sense of optimism I had in my last post. Rather now I have a sense of purpose, a goal, and a desire to reach it.

So here I sit needing an outlet.
I've been here 22 years and never felt the need to write. Then again I've also never had an outlet. As it stands I'm putting this into notepad but I plan on posting it for the world to see (and likely for no one to actually read).

Now I say I've never felt the NEED to write, but I've always felt the desire. Every time I would put pen to paper my mind would decide that this course was not the one I wanted to take, and I'd stop. This time I am going down a different route and putting my fingers to keys. I guess I find this easier.

What do I want to say? This is the first time I've done this. I don't know where to start. I can say tonight my thoughts have been of happy things. Possibility and change. I'm sitting here listening to Radiohead, finally a band I can say the name of without fear of someone knocking on my door demanding royalties, and the tone and feel is a musical expression of possiblity and change.

Maybe thats why I am doing this, I sense that our world and the people in it are coming to realize what needs to be done. I used to be scared that we were heading in a downward spiral towards our eventual doom. However now I feel that twinge of happiness, that glimmer of hope that we'll come together and save ourselves before it's too late. I wanted a place to go to speak of what I'm seeing and feeling. Here I am.

So now, what am I TRYING to say? I suppose I'm trying to say spread your seeds of change into the winds of revolution. I'm going to make this night my night to start spreading my seeds.